I want you to take something positive from this blog. Even if you decide things I do are not right, you can use me as a example of what not to do in your life. I just want you to know that we are all struggling with something, and when I find a little little trick that makes life easier I want to pass it along. I will like to show you when I get down some , because we all go do it. I want you to know how grateful I am that you all have decided to come along on this journey with me. I did not get any comments, but I got a lot of likes for my feedback request, so I am going to take that as a sign keep going.
You know you’re getting old when your doctor put you on Lipitor for high cholesterol.
I still feel this insurmountable amount loneliness. I wouldn’t say that is just part of my depression, but I’ve been feeling this way my entire life. I can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. Maybe I’m just meant to walk this world alone. I want to feel like this life is a gift, but what kind of gift makes you feel like crap all the time? I spend most of my time hiding the way I truly feel. I feel like I am living a dishonest life.
I have to admit that they have been times in my life where the emotional pain was as bad as the physical pain. sometimes I feel totally isolated from the rest of Society, because of my disability. I mean they have been times in my life where I was not invited to something, because it would be too complicated to get me there or have me there. who’s to say this physical pain is more valid than emotional pain? what kind of measurements can we use to measure someone’s pain? on the flip side some emotional pain is only temporary, for example the heartbreak of losing a boyfriend or whatever heartbreak you never thought you were though. this is why so hard to pin down Pacific criteria for this sort of thing.
Do chronically ill patients has the right to legally end their own life? My heart and mind always split into two directions when this question is posed to me. 2 years ago I woke up screaming out of my sleep from unspeakable pain in my left knee and hip. I’d screamed with the slightest movements. Orthopedic doctors cancel my appointment before I could even see them, because there was nothing they could do surgically for my leg. Some doctors had the audacity to say that because I was unable to walk my pain wasn’t a high priority compared to someone who could walk. There was a point during that time where I just wanted Jesus to come and take me from my misery. My knee and hip made a weird popping sound and I feel better, but I still have pain from time to time. What do you do when doctors and physical therapist don’t want to work with you because you are non-ambulatory? What if there’s no cure ? To be honest I’ve had this pain throughout my life because of surgeries of the past. This last time was the worst, I didn’t think I was going to survive it. That pain seeped into my brain and change my Outlook on my life. A big part of me says that only God has the right to end life. The other part of me says I am a hypocritical jackass for judging somebody for not wanting to live through unspeakable agonizing pain.