Happy birthday to me

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I was disappointed in myself last week

I ate five huge slices of pepperoni pizza and it was so greasy and delicious. I love this while I was doing it, But I hated myself afterwards.

I’m telling you this because we all have days where we fall off the wagon so To speak. We just got to get back on and keep going, because when it comes to your health quitting is not an option.

The purpose of this blog.:.

I want you to take something positive from this blog. Even if you decide things I do are not right, you can use me as a example of what not to do in your life. I just want you to know that we are all struggling with something, and when I find a little little trick that makes life easier I want to pass it along. I will like to show you when I get down some , because we all go do it. I want you to know how grateful I am that you all have decided to come along on this journey with me. I did not get any comments, but I got a lot of likes for my feedback request, so I am going to take that as a sign keep going.

No matter how hard I try

I still feel this insurmountable amount loneliness. I wouldn’t say that is just part of my depression, but I’ve been feeling this way my entire life. I can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. Maybe I’m just meant to walk this world alone. I want to feel like this life is a gift, but what kind of gift makes you feel like crap all the time? I spend most of my time hiding the way I truly feel. I feel like I am living a dishonest life.

Sometimes I think my life would be easier if I had a penis

The things you have to go through when you’re a non-ambulatory quadriplegic. I needed to get this urine test for my doctor. I did not want to do the usual method of having a straight Cath done at the hospital, because evidently Hamot hospital doesn’t know the correct location to put the catheter. In the past my private area will be sensitive and sore for a couple of weeks. I had to call around to all of these different Laboratories and not an easy task. Try to explain to a lady why a 37 year old needs a cath beg for an infant.

What depression is to me

Depression is nothing more than the enemy trying to steal you’re light and connection to God. The devil wants to where you down like a deer; he wants to where you down before he goes in for The Kill. The Devil wants to fill your brain constant negativity, so he can kill your spirit. That’s why the Devil put these negative thoughts on a constant loop.

Develop an interest

I feel that a lot of people tries to cling to their  personal care assistance, because they lack self interest. I think it is really important to find things to get involved in. If you have trouble dealing with people you can always start your own blog or YouTube channel. I don’t like interacting with people, but I find my blog and YouTube page keep me pretty active. I encourage you to write that book you always wanted to write.